


Interlude

by MabzOfBoredomville



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Injury Recovery, One Shot, Post Season 3 Episode 19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:15:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27309769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MabzOfBoredomville/pseuds/MabzOfBoredomville
Summary: ***This takes place somewhere after Manga 85 and Anime Season 3 Episode 19***After the battle in Shiganshina, where heavy sacrifice bought them Grisha Jaeger's notes, the Scout survivors have returned to base. Levi watches over Hange recovering from the ordeal.
Relationships: Levi & Hange Zoë, Levi/Hange Zoë
Comments: 6
Kudos: 88





	Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for stopping by. This is a short one-off I wrote as an exercise in writing drama and emotion. I am eagerly looking for feedback on anything : prose, wording, characterization, dialogue, structure, suggestions - you name it! I'd love to hear from you. 
> 
> I just want to note here that I was torn between featuring non-binary manga Hange, or anime female Hange. I love them both. I think that Mr. Isayama's writing of Hange in the manga is fabulous, but I also really like the idea of Hange in the anime as a female leader and scientist. Anyway, just wanted to say that I think they are both extraordinary incarnations of a wonderful, well-rounded character. I opted for female Hange in this piece, but I'm happy to engage with feedback on that decision as well. 
> 
> Best! 
> 
> MB

### Interlude

Hange, gripped by a nightmare, drew a sharp breath and whimpered. Levi straightened in his chair, feeling his weary muscles. He unfolded his arms.

“No,” Hange whispered. “Please. I’m… No.”

Her right hand rose weakly to ward off an invisible threat.

“Hange,” Levi called, leaning towards his bedridden comrade.

Hange struggled, her features tense with pain and fear. Levi touched her left shoulder, feeling the bone and the warmth of her skin through the fabric of her shirt.

“Hange, wake up.”

She scowled, as if wanting to fight back, resist.

“Please,” she moaned. “Don’t…”  
“Hange, wake up,” Levi ordered, louder.

He squeezed her shoulder.  
Hange’s good eye opened wide. She gasped and her right hand flew towards her face. Levi caught it, just before she could clutch at the bandage over her left eye. Hange fought him, confused, still caught it her dream. Levi held her hand firmly and kept his fingers around her shoulder, careful not to clench.

“You’re all right,” he said calmly. “You’re okay.”

Hange took in rasping breaths, the covers rising and falling quickly over her chest. Her gaze bounced, unfocussed, and landed on Levi’s face. She didn’t recognize him. Her hand pulled in fright. Levi stared back, didn’t let go.  
Hange blinked and some of the cloudy distress in her eye cleared up. Her expression softened as the fear drained from it. Then, the pain caught on. Hange tensed up and groaned.

“You’re all right,” Levi repeated.

He let go of her shoulder. He was seized by the impulse to stroke her forehead, her hair to soothe her. But his hand closed into a fist and retreated to his thigh.  
He kept his other hand on Hange’s, atop the quilt. She’d closed her fingers around his; he couldn’t tell if she’d noticed. He waited while Hange’s breathing eased.  
She stared at the ceiling, then at the window on her right. Levi watched as she recognized her surroundings, remembered, realized they’d made it back home. She relaxed somewhat, but didn’t release his hand.

“How long have we been back?” Hange asked in a hoarse voice.  
“A day and a half,” he answered.

Hange turned back towards him, concerned.

“Sasha?” she asked.  
“She’s alright. You were the worst for it.”

Hange closed her eye.  
After the basement in Shinganshina, on their way back towards the wall, Hange had begun showing signs that her injuries were worse then she’d let anyone think. Levi had assumed that her silence and pallor were due to the shock of their discovery at Eren’s home. But once they’d reached the wall, Hange’s knees had buckled under her. She’d thrown up, fainted and convulsed. The loss of her eye must have been excruciatingly painful, and she’d suffered a severe concussion from the colossal titan’s blast. Levi guessed adrenaline and sheer will had kept her upright through it all, but it was too much for anyone to bear for long.  
Taking her back to Wall Rose had been nerve-racking. Levi hadn’t been able to rest quietly since they’d returned. He felt done in.  
Hange was still pale and feverish, and clearly in pain. But this was the most coherent she’d been since Shinganshina, so Levi took it as good sign.

“The notebooks?” Hange asked.  
“In there.”

He pointed to the bedside table where he’d kept the three volumes left behind by Eren’s father.

“They haven’t left your side,” he said. “I told Zachary we weren’t going to report back until you are back on your feet. That creep can wait.”

Hange drew a deep breath. Her gaze sharpened.

“How do you feel?” Levi asked.

She didn’t respond right away, gazed at the window. Strips of clouds, coloured purple in the evening light, moved slowly over the roofs.

“I’ve had worst,” Hange finally said.

She started coughing – something gravelly and cruel – and pulled herself up. Levi let go of her hand to get the pitcher on the nightstand and fill a cup of water. She lifted trembling fingers to take it and he helped her drink until the coughing died down.  
Hange leaned against the headboard, haggard, breathing slowly. Strands of hair drew a curtain against her face. She looked… extinguished. It made him ache worst than the weariness from battle.

“We have to make our report,” Hange uttered.  
“It can wait.”  
“A lot of people died to get us the truth.”  
“We have the truth now, and they are not getting any deader.”

Hange did not reply, staring at her hands in her lap. He shouldn’t have spoken so harshly.  
But she would push herself too hard. She needed rest. Seeing her collapse atop Wall Maria had struck him with bone-deep horror he didn’t want to experience again.

“Take the time you need,” Levi said. “You’re no good to anyone if that big head of yours isn’t working right.”

He’d tried to reason with Erwin too.  
Hange let out a sigh. She reached behind her head, palpated her skull. She followed the bandage to her face. Her fingers brushed her forehead and she dropped her hand. She remained silent for a moment.

“It’s just us now,” Hange murmured.

He closed his eyes. He should speak now, might not find the strength later. Saying the words was like trying to lift a stone slab off his chest.

“I’m sorry Hange.”

She cast him a worried look.

“By letting Erwin die,” he said, “I made it all fall to you. I’m sorry.”

Hange stared at him, her gaze deep and soulful. He found it hard not to drop his eyes. She gently shook her head.

“Erwin tasked you with choosing how to use the titan injection,” she said. “He gave you the responsibility. I respect that. I can’t blame you for making the decision. To be honest, I’m glad I wasn’t in your shoes.”

The invisible headstone landed on the ground at his feet. Something still pressed down on his chest, but some of the weight he’d been carrying for two days had finally lifted.

“And it can’t be down to just one person,” Hange added. “It never was. We are all in this together. Besides… everything’s different now.”  
She pressed her right hand against her forehead.  
“We’ll do this together,” Levi heard himself say.

Hange looked at him – not shocked, but surprised somewhat. She smiled a smile partly smothered by ache, fatigue, and stoicism. He heard her voice in his mind, what she’d told Mikasa on the roof: _No one stays by your side forever._

“That’s comforting,” she said.

She massaged the right side of her face with her palm.

“Anything you need?” Levi asked in the silence.

She wiped her forehead and rubbed her fingers together.

“A bath wouldn’t hurt,” she said.

Levi almost smiled.

“Can you help me?” Hange asked. “I dread having to get up.”  
“I can get a nurse, if you want.”  
“I don’t care.”

She started pushing the covers away.

“All right,” Levi stopped her, getting up. “I’ll go run the water. Don’t try to stand until I get back.”

He went into the bathroom, turned on the tap and adjusted the temperature. That tub probably hadn’t been cleaned in ages.  
He found a chair near the door and moved it close to the bath. He collected towels from the linen closet, a clean-enough bucket, a sponge, and a cracked-up bar of soap. Gentle vapour rose from the mounting water in the tub. He tested the water’s temperature again.  
When he returned to the bedroom, Hange was sitting on the edge of the bed, naked feet on the hardwood floor. Levi didn’t like the tension in her shoulders, the way her eye was cast down and the light in it dimmed. She looked up as he approached.

“You well enough to get up?” Levi asked.

Hange nodded.

“Well then,” he said. “Come on.”

He stepped closer, offering her support. Hange put her hands on his forearms and lifted herself to her feet, slowly. She vacillated – Levi could imagine the painful rush of blood from her head to the rest of her body – but managed to stay up. He put one arm around her waist and Hange leaned against him. Her first steps were wobbly, but slowly grew steadier. In the bathroom, Levi helped her to sit on the chair.  
Hangi began mechanically unbuttoning her shirt. Levi turned the tap off, and then went to help her slide her arms out of the sleeves. Every movement caused Hangi to tense up and hiss under her breath. He folded the shirt over his arm.  
The star-shaped scar inside Hangi’s right shoulder – where the hook of one of Kenny’s lieutenant had pierced – was pinkish and crude. Levi relived the scene: Hangi hitting a column of crystal at full speed, her body going limp on impact and tumbling to the ground. Hange not moving. The crimson track on the pillar.  
He shut down the memory.  
Hange had stripped to her undergarments. She took everything off with no embarrassment - perhaps too exhausted to care. Levi moved closer, offered his arms again.  
He did look. He saw the crude line along her collarbone, where the leather of the ODM gear chafed the skin. It was on her hips and her legs too. He bore the same marks.  
All of Hange spoke of the sacrifices she’d made to the scouts. Every limb was covered in scars; every muscle was a tight knot wrapped in callused skin. There were no gentle curves left on Hange, only sharp, toughened angles and strained tendons. He swallowed, the hurt inside his chest cutting deeper.  
He helped her step over the side of the tub and lower herself into the steaming water. Hange leaned against the back of the basin, sighed and seemed to relax a little.

“You should take that bandage off,” Levi said. “You need a clean one, and the wound should breath.”

Hange opened her eye. She sat up and lifted her hands, groped for the fastener behind her head.

“Here.”

Levi untied the bandage and unwrapped it slowly. He pulled it off Hange’s face as softly as he could, but felt the fabric tear at skin. Hange’s good eye shut and her jaw locked, but she didn’t gasp. Levi examined the wound.

“How is it?” Hange asked.  
“Less inflamed than it was yesterday.”  
“It feels very strange,” Hange said. “Hollow.”

She rested her head back against the tub’s rim. Tips of hair moved eerily atop the water like dark tentacles.

“I can do your hair,” Levi proposed.  
“They’re probably filthy something awful.”  
“Yeah, I know.”

Levi rolled up his sleeves, picked up the bucket and collected water from the tub. He knelt down on the cold stone floor and gathered Hange’s dense mane so he could wash it over the edge of the bath. He was careful not to let any water drip down Hange’s forehead when he used a cup to damp her hair.  
Hange’s eyes were closed again.  
Levi rubbed soap onto his hand and plunged his fingers into the thick, greasy mop. Water filthy with dust and grit and dried blood fell in and around the bucket, soaking his knees. In silence, he rubbed and rinsed, working his way down. Underneath Hange’s skull, he touched the large lump that marked where she’d knocked her head. He removed his hand quickly. Hange didn’t seem to feel it. Her hand moved absentmindedly through the water.

“Erwin was right,” Hange said. “There are more people out there.”  
“Doesn’t come as a surprise,” Levi said. “After you told us titans were humans, it was to be expected.”  
“People… condemned us to this,” Hange murmured, with awe and sadness. “Can you imagine the hate it takes?”  
“Maybe they don’t know what they’ve done. Maybe it’s only a few.”  
“But what if the rest of the world can’t be reasoned with? What are we going to do?”  
“Cut yourself some slack, Hange. You’re not going to solve this tonight. And these people have been out there for a hundred years. A few more days won’t change anything.”  
“But now, we know. And they know that we know.”  
“They know we can kick their asses. That’s what they know.”  
“Yes,” Hange said. “You no doubt made quite an impression on the beast titan.”  
“Reiner will have nightmares about you.”

Hange fell silent again. He cautiously soaked and washed each strand of hair, trying to undo the knots with his fingers. Hange massaged her left shoulder, ruminating.

“What is the worst you’ve ever had?” Levi asked to distract her.  
“Hum?”  
“You said this isn’t the worst injury you’ve had. Sounded like you were thinking of something else.”  
“Oh. Yes. But it was a long time ago.”  
“Blew yourself up in your lab?”  
“No,” Hange said - he could hear the smile in her voice. “It…”

She paused. When she spoke again, the amusement was gone.

“It was a few years before you joined the scouts. We were attacked by a large group of titans while doing recon beyond Wall Maria. We made it to a forest of giant trees, but all hell broke loose. I don’t remember how it happened. I think one of my ODM cables snapped. I fell from quite a height and took a branch through the chest on the way down. I remember the stab of it, then falling for a long time, and finally hitting the ground. I couldn’t move. Thought I’d broken my back. There were no titans close by, thankfully, but I couldn’t get up. I remember looking up at the foliage and thinking it was a pretty stupid way to die. The branch had pierced through my lung, so breathing became… unbearably painful.”  
“How did you make it back?”

There was a short beat before Hange answered.

“Moblit found me. We weren’t in the same squad back then. I guess he got separated from his unit and… He saved my life. My lung had collapsed and I was suffocating, so he had to cut in with a knife…”

Levi saw Hange reach for her right side, perhaps touching the scar there.

“He jammed it in right there, between the ribs. That let the pressure out. My lung re-inflated and I… I remember being able to draw air in… I don’t remember much after that. Recovery was very painful. This is kinder in comparison.”

Levi combed a length of Hange’s hair between his fingers. In the pent silence, he felt Hange’s sorrow. He knew what she was thinking.

“I should have said thank you more,” Hange finally said. “To Moblit. He did so much, and I…”  
“Helping you was its own reward for him,” Levi said. “I’m sure he would have picked no other way to go.”

Hange inhaled sharply and covered her mouth with her fingers. A cold, detached part of Levi’s mind wondered what it would feel like to cry with just one eye. His hand hovered. He could reach over the side of the tub, to touch her shoulder. He set his jaw and focussed on untangling a thick knot in her hair.  
After a moment, Hange lowered her hand into the water. There were no sobs, no sniffs.  
Levi poured water over the bottom tier of Hange’s hair, rinsing out the soap bubbles and the last of the filth. It wasn’t the thorough scrubbing he would have gone for, but it would do for now.

“I’m done,” he said.  
“Thank you.”

Hange sat up in the tub and started washing herself with the sponge while Levi mopped the water he’d spilled on the floor. When he was done, Hange was rubbing the back of her right shoulder.

“Give here,” he said.

Hange handed him the sponge and wrapped her arms around her knees, vertebrae popping out in a ridge. Levi washed her back, avoiding the worst of the abrasions and spots that seemed raw and sensitive. The water formed little trembling cascades and tiny shrinking ponds on Hange’s skin. He put the sponge down.

“Water’s getting cold,” he said. “Let’s get you out of there.”

Hange breathed deeply, as if to gather her strength. Slowly, she unfolded her body and rose to her feet. Levi took her hands and Hange got out of the bath, long legs stepping over the edge of the tub, feet landing on the cloth he’d laid on the floor. Levi wrapped a towel around Hange, helped her sit down. Water dripped on the stones.  
He dabbed her hair with another towel. He helped her dry herself and put on some sleepwear he found in her room. Hange seemed to sleepwalk through it all, eyelid batting in slow motion, her gaze unfocused.  
He got her back to bed, sat her down and bandaged her eye, as best he could. When he was done, he helped her slip under the sheets and pulled the covers over her. Hange rested her head against the pillow and sighed. No doubt she’d be asleep soon.  
He sat down, weary in his wet clothes.  
Hange’s eye opened. She turned her head to look at him.

“Will you read to me?”

Her voice was low, but her words clear.

“What?”  
“From Dr. Yeager’s notes.”

Levi folded his arms on his chest.

“No. Go to sleep, Hange.”  
“Just a few pages. Please.”

She kept her eye on him, didn’t seem like she would change her mind. Levi sighed.

“Which one?”  
“The green one.”

He pulled the book from the drawer, opened the stiff cover and flipped to the first page. Reading out loud was awkward. He was self-conscious of the way he stumbled over some of the words. Hange kept her eye open, staring at the ceiling while she listened. After a moment though, she started blinking heavily.  
Levi reached the end of the fifth page, and stopped. He lifted his eyes. Hange was fast asleep, her chest rising and falling slowly. He closed the notebook and put it back inside the bedside table, shutting the drawer delicately. He leaned back, folded his arms over his chest. He felt tired, but calm.

“As long as I have strength,” Levi murmured.

He watched Hange sleep quietly. Stars shone out the window.

###

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading! As I noted above, I'm eagerly looking for any feedback and would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions, whatever they might be. 
> 
> All the best,
> 
> MB


End file.
